Two Doors Down
by SciFiQueen
Summary: Morgan's POV


**Two Doors Down**

_I decided to do a piece of Morgan's thoughts as he navigated a case as team leader. TPTB owns all and I am just being nice to our fav characters._

The problem with being a profiler is that sometimes we become too close and cannot stop the dark thoughts in time. Sometimes it takes too much out of us to regain balance. Seeing so much evil, becoming that evil and then returning to your life is never an easy process. If we let it, it consumes us and sucks all the good out of everything.

I remember every night what I felt as I heard that psycho kill Haley on the speaker phone. I fought the tears and rage as I became Hotch and empathize more than I thought possible for me to do. I was tempted to join him in crushing Foyet into a pulp but was strong enough to pull him off. My nightmares every night has been me wearing my knuckles raw on Foyet's face whilst my child hid in a trunk.

As we carried Haley's casket through the cemetery, I keep asking myself if I would be strong enough to withstand that loss. Would I be able to become functional again and be a father or would I completely flip out and become a vigilante? The solemnity has cemented itself in our psyches as we sat in Hotch's living room quietly sharing a common thread of hurt so deep that speech was unnecessary. We made a few attempts to figure out what to do.

Then the phone rang and everyone wanted to ignore it. It would have been so easy to tell Nashville to hold off because we are dealing with our own hurt and cannot bear theirs too. But that would only let the evil win. With seemingly cold indifference I marshal the team and retrieved Rossi.

Now here's another guy with misguided rage on poor unsuspecting women. God, did it have to be brunettes? Is the universe trying to drive me completely out of my mind? Single, professional brunettes have once again become an endangered species. The team reluctantly retired for the night. It was only 8:30PM and early for our standards but after being awake for close to two days, we all needed to try and get some rest. No wonder Hotch became a damn stick in the mud. I am sure he was a carefree, fun loving guy once. Is that what this job as team leader did to you? I know I can handle it but the question is, 'do I want to?'

I watch Emily walk through the last victim's house and profile the activities. In the bedroom when she said something like _This is where the fantasy ends; I played along because I still have time to escape but this is where I feel vulnerable and I fight back, _I just nodded my agreement because the thought of Emily being vulnerable to some madman in her bedroom is threatening to snap my last thread of self control. When we caught him and Emily exorcised some of the demons holding her gun to his face, I couldn't be prouder. I had to stop myself from shooting him myself. I also felt sad for him; he lost his mind when he lost the love of his life. Makes me more aware how easy you can lose it when things go south in a heartbeat.

10 PM and I cannot sleep. I got up and pulled on slacks and t-shirt and left my room. I stood outside my room for a long time just staring two doors down. My hand knocked three times and I waited. Emily pulled open the door wearing shorts and a tank. Clearly she is having problems sleeping also. I see her surprised look at my appearance. This is something I have never done and my awkwardness must have been visible as she stepped aside and let me in. I was itching to touch her and that want won against every argument my brain can conjure.

That is how we came to stand in the middle of her hotel room with my arms around her. Emily was a bit hesitant as she wrapped her arms around me. When did I lose all power to contain myself? I started caressing her lower back as I began, "I have been trying to fight this but it only grows stronger. Ever since I heard Haley being shot, I wanted to lock you in a room and keep you away from the rest of the world." She remained quiet but squirmed a bit. I know that her brain is racing at the speed of light to frame a response, but I don't really want one. I just needed to have her in my arms to keep away the huge demons swirling in my mind.

"Damn it Emily, I love you and was too reluctant to let you know but not anymore. I don't want to regret anything if something happened to you. It stopped being Haley and Hotch and I questioned whether I can raise our child if a madman rips you away from us. Would I be strong enough to retain my sanity? And I pray I never have to find out. Then some other wacko targeting brunettes hot on the heels of the funeral. I almost asked you to dye your hair red or blond. But I knew you would have probably shot me for being silly." I felt her laugh as she realized that I needed to talk without a response from her. My hands were now under her tank enjoying the feeling of her skin; her sounds of approval only encouraging me – not that I actually needed much encouragement.

I confessed a lot that night, maybe too much. But I know that my heart was safe with Emily and that she would not destroy me. This woman tucked under my chin had no idea of the power she wielded. Never had someone become so entwined in my life that I don't want to consider an alternative. A few years ago I would have scoffed at the thought of being with one woman and not looking over my shoulder for the next hot thing to conquer. Emily Prentiss has trapped me nicely in her web and I am happy about that. Is this what love is then? This irrational feeling of belonging and cutesy romantic ramblings? Have I lost all my dignity? I only hope that she forgets most of the crap I was spewing but knowing Emily, she has already catalogued it all and will be there to bring me down a notch or two when I most deserved it.

She detached herself and led me to bed by the hand. She got in and motioned for me to join her. I was afraid she would order me out of her room but the universe was being kind to its Derek Morgan. She settled against me as I trembled at having her in bed; my best friend, my protector, my love. This woman from day one has made me comfortable and now she is comforting me even as I now realize that I actually need it. I was content to just fall asleep in her bed. But Emily would have none of that. She made love to me that night. I was completely submissive – another first for me. It was beautiful; Emily Prentiss commanding me to fulfil our every need.

Waking up from a sated sleep I realized that it is very early in the morning and I needed to get back to my room. I didn't want to wake her but couldn't just leave so I did something I had fantasized about for years; kissing my way up her spine. She mumbled towards wakefulness and I shushed her with a kiss on the shoulder and let her know that I am leaving. With a smile I tore myself away from her and returned down the hall.

I spent most of the flight back to Quantico doing paperwork as the rest of the team made small talk. We went our separate ways as soon as we could escape the BAU. Our relationship obviously grew deeper from that moment. To find a sense of levity I suggested that we all go out after a brutal month of chasing killers across the country. Emily pulled Reid to the dance floor and proceeded to torture the poor guy by dancing rings around him. Garcia and JJ hauled Kevin and Will to join her. I should have expected it but my focus was zeroed on Emily's swivelling hips so when Rossi started talking my attention was still divided.

"Morgan," he said and nudged me. At my raised eyebrow he continued "stop looking at her like that unless you want everyone to know."

"What the hell are you talking about?" was my response.

"You and Emily," he replied, "I know you have kept it off the job but you need to stop looking at her with such possessiveness, especially now that you are team leader. The Bureau is looking for anything to dismantle this team."

"Dave, man, I love her. Thanks for the heads up."

He nodded and downed his drink. Funny, I always thought that Garcia would notice first but the rascal Rossi was more in tuned that I suspected. What the hell do I do now? The only thing I know for sure is that I am not prepared to lose Emily. She means more to me than this job ever would. Would she think me nuts if I wanted to make it official so quickly? _Well Derek, old boy, you have some thinking to do. Find a way to get your woman and keep your job. _Seeing her walk to me I couldn't tear my eyes away even if I wanted, she beckoned me with her index finger and my traitorous body obeyed. Then my brain continued arguing with itself..._here's a novel idea genius, why don't you discuss it with her? You know that she is part of this too. Oh shut the hell up! Keep quiet while I break it down with my baby on the dance floor._ We were the hottest couple heating the dance floor; even if I do say so myself. 

_the end. punto final. am ende_

I challenged myself to do this story with no dialogue between Morgan and Prentiss whom I am sure you have figured out are my favourite characters on the show.


End file.
